Feedback Focus

I enjoyed practicing with these different methods.  I think all three can really be used together in different ways to help with whatever you are trying to accomplish.

The most effective focus technique for me was the "Copy and Delete" option.  I’m shocked at how helpful it was.  It didn't take too much effort but really helped me zoom into the story and recall detailed information.  I will definitely be using this technique, not inly in this class but my others as well.

I also found that reading aloud helped me to focus as well.  Hearing my own voice say what I was reading in my head helped to dial me in.  I have used this technique before and it has proven to be very helpful.  Sometimes I will have a reading assignment that I do not find interesting and I find my thoughts wandering so much that I do not know what I read in the last page.  Reading aloud helps to stop the wandering thoughts.  

Finally, the timer technique was interesting.  I don't think it was as helpful for me as the others but maybe paired with the others I will find it more useful.  I was surprised at how much I could accomplish in the 10 minutes of allotted time.  It definitely helped put things into perspective.  Its easy to have a reading assignment take 25 minutes when in reality it would only take 10 if I maintained focus.  It is a good motivation tool.

(Inspirational quote, found on Flickr.)

Image Note: I chose this image because it summarized how I feel about the importance of focusing on the readings.  A lot of times we focus on just getting the reading assignment done but my zeroing in on the material and truly focusing on what we are reading, we will enjoy the assignment more than if we just read it to get it over with.

 

Story: Sealing His Fate Continued

         Rama quickly wiped the tear from the corner of his eye and hardened his face, sealing his lips in a line.  How could he give her up?  He cursed Agni for tricking him at such a young and innocent age, but then he stopped and cursed himself for ever letting himself be fooled, no matter how young he was.

         Sati stopped and sunk to his feet.  "Oh Rama, I missed you so.  I love you and I will praise you forever for rescuing me.  Thank you, love.  We can now start our lives together again.  Oh Rama thank you!"

         Rama stepped back, removing himself from her grasp.  "Sita.  I... I cannot be with you.  I'm sorry.  Please go from here.  Your trials are not over.  I realize now that you are my first and only true love.  But I've made a mistake.  You must leave.”  Rama tried to warn her.  He wanted to save her from her death, not knowing how Agni would take her.  But then Sita did something no one was expecting.

         "You think I am impure? Rama I have wasted away my time here, saving myself for you.  I have done nothing to dishonor you.  I have only prayed for your return and longed for your love.  What must I do to prove my devotion?"

         Rama was shocked.  He was not trying to second-guess her purity.  He knew she loved him and was devoted to him.  That’s how he knew she was his true love and why he must leave her.  Him admitting that she was the one meant Agni would sure come and take her away!

         Then Sita began to call to the gods, "Oh gods! Please have mercy on me! Let me be with the one I love.  Prove me to be pure and righteous.  Agni, oh god of fire.  Purify me before my love so that he may accept me."

         "Noooo!" Rama yelled.  Not Agni.  Sita called for her death without even knowing!  "Sita, please no! Not..." but before Rama could finish, flames grew high between them; they soared to the heavens.  Sita slowly walked forward.  Rama saw Agni's face in the flames, smiling with mouth wide open, hungry for Sita.  In that moment, Rama wished he were never victorious.  Dying himself would have been better than watching his love die in front of him.

         Slowly Sita walked forward.  One foot ahead of the other.  She closed her eyes and spread her arms wide, giving herself to the fire. "Purify me, Agni, for you are the most high.  You will prove my honesty and show the world I am true."

         Agni stopped and listened to the girl.  She was worshipping her, praising her for her might.  Agni was shocked.  Of all the gods, Sita called upon her to prove her worth.  Agni was honored.  How could she kill one of her beloved and faithful followers.  Agni was taken by Sita's innocent charm and child-like devotion and chose to let her live.

         Sita walked.  One foot in the flame; the other foot in the flame.  Her body became enveloped.  She kept walking.  Flames consumed her but she did not burn.  She kept walking.  Rama stood, eyes wide open, in awe of the woman he loved.  She was strong, fearless, and walking through flames untouched.

         Sita crossed the fire and stood unharmed in front of Rama.  The fire behind her diminished, leaving behind clear smoke.  Rama saw Agni's face, approving of the lovers.  Agni nodded to Rama and mouthed, "You are free."

         Rama cried out and clasped on to Sita. They wept in each other’s arms.  "Oh Sita, my love.  I will cherish you always. Thank you my love, for you are honorable and true.  You are my life now.  The gods approve of our union and I will honor it for the rest of my life.  We are free."

(Rama and Sita embrace. Found on WikipediaCommons.)

Author's Note:

I couldn't leave last weeks story without concluding it so I chose to continue the story about Rama's deal with the devil and make it so Sita and Rama could be together.  I wanted the story to be more filled with love than the original.  The original was too cold.  That's just the hopeless romantic in me.

Bibliography:

Ramayana, Naryan 

Reading Notes: Sita Sings the Blues, Part A and B

Bibliography:
Sita Sings the Blues, Nina Paley, 2008,  https://youtu.be/RzTg7YXuy34

The narrators discuss reasons why Sita didn't go back with Hanuman when he found her.  That male narrator suggests Sita didn't trust Hanuman completely but the woman narrator suggests Sita just wanted Rama to save her himself.  Its interesting that the man and woman have such different takes on Sita's decision.  Ones a more practical decision, the other is a more romantic decision.  It would be interesting to tell a simple scene from two different lenses, the man's lens and the man's lens.  Tell the story from a practical point of view and then from a romantic point of view.

(Sita and Hanuman in the movie Sita Sings the Blues, found on flickr.)

Another interesting discussion the narrators had was later after Sita was rejected for a second time.  Sita remains faithful and loyal to Rama even after he has abandoned her while pregnant.  one of the male narrators says this is something he does not understand.  Why would you stay with someone who doesn't treat you right.  Why would you cry over someone who scorns you so many times.  The woman adds that it's an act of unconditional love.  I agree with the male narrator.  This makes Sita look week.  I would love to retell this part and have Sita being the strong character and Rama being the week one; the one who can't handle just a tiny bit of criticism coming from a laundry man. 

(Sita proving herself to Rama, found on Wikipedia.)

Lakshmana was the one who had to take Sita away and abandon her in the forest.  While the pregnant Sita cries and sings her way into the forest, Lakshmana does not say a word but is shown weeping the whole way beside her.  I want to delve into his thoughts while he is carrying out this order for his brother.

(Lakshmana taking a pregnant Sita away, both in tears.  Found on Flickr.)

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Story: Sealing His Fate

        He saw her standing there in her yellow silk sari and his eyes flooded with tears.  He quickly blinked, trying to rid himself of the weakness.  He had to stay strong.  This was always part of the plan.  It was his curse and there was no ridding himself of the devil on his back until the episode was complete.  He must deny her; it was time.

         Sati noticed Rama and she began running toward him.  How could he follow through?  Her hair flew behind her in the wind, her sari pressed flat against her beautiful body as she ran to him.  His wife, his beautiful wife…she retained her beauty through her captive stay. She flung herself in his arms and he stood still, pressing his hands to his thighs to make sure his body would not contradict his resolution.  He stood firm.  Sati cried and held on sinking to his feet beyond elated to see her hero; her husband.  Rama looked ahead stoned face, blinking back weakness and recalling his decision years ago.

         Rama was six years old playing in the Gardens with Lakshmana.  They were running around and hiding behind or within anything they could find.  It was an exceptionally hot day and Rama remembers running over to the pond hoping to cup some fresh water in his hands before Lakshmana found him.  As he bent over to dip his fingers in the cool blue water, he noticed a figure standing behind him in the reflection of the pond.  Rama, startled, spun around and nearly fell into the fresh water behind him, but then shortly relaxed afterward as he saw it was just a kind older woman.

         “Hello, child.  May I share the pond with you?  It is very hot and I cannot imagine walking farther,” the woman walks closer.  Rama was not scared, but merely curious, so he stumbled to the side and took water for himself beside her.  As they drank the woman turned and said, “I see great things in your future child.  Your eyes show power and strength, great strength.  You will do miraculous things one day, things the gods themselves cannot do.” 

         Rama’s eyes grew big.  What did she mean?  How does she see my future?  He slowly sputtered out, “What will I do?”

         The woman smiled, “You are a special child; a chosen one.  You have been chosen to act on behalf of the gods and rid the world of evil.  Soon you will receive your mission but just know, you have great things ahead of you.  But there will be death and fire, you will lose…”

         “Lose?  Why would I be called by the gods only to lose?”  Rama now felt this woman was crazy, and began to turn and leave when she quietly said, “Look within yourself, you are a smart child.  Why would the god’s want you to survive if you help them do something they cannot do themselves?  You would then be a threat to them and they could not let you live.”  Rama stopped.  In his heart, he knew she was telling the truth.  He felt a pull deep within to believe her and listen to her. He turned, “And how shall I win?  Am I destined for greatness only to lose my life?” 

         The woman smiled, “Dear child, I said you would lose, but that does not have to mean losing your life.  There is another option.”

         Rama leaned in, “Yes! What is the other option?”

         “You must lose your first love in order to win the gods’ favor and save your life.  The fire god, Agni, survives by people’s sacrifice.  If your first love does not give herself to Agni, Agni will come for you.   If you try to get in the way, not only will your first love die, but what you accomplished will fall apart and you must fight the evil for the rest of your life, never fulfilling your destiny.”

         Rama laughed, “Well of course I will give Agni my first love! I will do as you say if you promise I will defeat evil and save my life.” Rama thought to himself, foolish woman, I do not know any girls but my sister, how will I ever find time for love with such a calling from the gods?

         “Of course dear boy.  From now on, your decision is binding and you will be victorious.”  Then the woman’s sweet smile turned and twisted.  Rama’s peace turned to fear as the woman burst into flames and disappeared.  Agni.  Rama just made a deal with the god of fire herself.   

(Agni, the fire god. Found on Wikipedia.)   

***

To Be Continued...

Author's Note: 
I was moved by the final story of Rama denying Sita.  I wanted to give a voice to Rama because when I read the story I felt angry towards him.  How could he deny this woman just because she was captured.  It was not her choice.  There must be a reason behind his coldness.  So I decided to give him a reason and change up the story a bit.  I realized it would turn into a longer story so I decided to only do half and give insight to Rama's "deal with the devil" (or more like "deal with the fire god") today and then return to the ending of the episode on another day.

Bibliography:
Narayan's Ramayana, Reading Guide D.

Reading Notes: Ramayana, Part D

Bibliography:

Narayan's Ramayana, Reading Guide D.

Ch.8 Memento from Rama:

Hanuman finds Sita and is astonished at her bravery and persistence to wait for Rama.  But Sita prepares to take her life and Hanuman stops her just in time.  This also comes after Hanuman finds Ravana's wife and thinks it is Sita living in luxury.  This story reminds me a lot of Beauty and the Beast.  Thats what my mind first went to when Hanuman sees Ravana's wife and thinks its Sita, the prisoner living in luxury, like Belle in the classic disney movie.  It would be interesting to write a story changing it so that it really is Sita and she has fallen in love with her captor, Ravana.  Maybe Rama turns into a sort of Gaston character?

 

( Beauty and the Beast.  Image from DeviantArt)                                                 (Sita and Ravana. Image from Flickr.)

Ch. 13 Interlude

This chapter really affected me.  Rama finally freed Sita but then wanted nothing to do with her because she was in another man's house, even though unwillingly.  It was so shocking and made me look at Rama in a new light, and a not so good light at that.  He received her only after she was cleansed in the fire by the god of fire, Agni.  There has to be some way to retell this story in a powerful way.  I might want to go more into Rama's side and explore why he was rejecting Sita.  maybe he was cursed into denying his love but the curse was lifted as soon as Sita fell into the fire.  maybe Rama did not know that by throwing herself in the fire, Sita got rid of the curse and Rama's "back magic stupor" fell away and he was able to grab onto Sita and finally be together.  I have a lot of ideas with this one.    

Reading Notes: Ramayana Part C

Bibliography:
Narayan's Ramayana, Reading Guide C.

Ch. 6 Vali

I am fascinated by the wife of Vali and Sugreeva, Tara.  her struggles are not highlighted and I would love to give her a voice.  How did she feel when Vali came back and took her as his own?  How did she come to love Vali?  Was it forced or natural?  How did she feel when Vali died?  Did she return to Sugreeva? Did she hate Sugreeva for killing Vali?  Did she hate Vali for banishing Sugreeva?  These are all questions I asked while reading this story and would love to answer them. 

(Tara crying, holding Vali's dying body.  Found on Wikipedia.) 

I am also interested in Vali's side of the story.  Vali was made into the "bad guy" but did he really do anything wrong?  He misunderstood the situation but what if the story was told from his perspective? Wouldn't he be in the right and Sugreeva was the terrible, power seeking brother?  It would be fun to write this story as if Sugreeva was the bad guy in this misunderstanding and see how the sentiments would change.

It would be fun to retell one of these stories in a different way.  I could see retelling some of these stories as if they were normal people in the present day or maybe giving it a theme like a space mission or a vampire story.   These are just some ideas but maybe I'll expand on that more in the future

Feedback Thoughts: My Own Fears and How to Not Scare Others

            Setting up my art piece on the wall next to the other kids in the class was humiliating.  I am the harshest critic of my own work so having to publicly display my work next to the other students in my class, who I viewed as pure prodigies, was extremely difficult for me.  Then, if having to visually critique my comparison and lack of artistic skill wasn’t enough, the teacher then told us that each of our paintings were going to be critiqued by other students in the class, in front of the entire everyone.  My painting was up.  I sat there blushing, waiting to hear the awkward comments of people trying to find a nice way to say my painting looked like a day care art project.  The first person raised their hand and I braced myself. 

            “I love what you did with the color!  The stark contrast is very intriguing.  I would suggest focusing more on developing texture with the paint because you already have the color down! Good job!”

            I was shocked.  She liked it.  It made me want to grab my piece and go work on adding texture so she would like it even more.  I was encouraged to adapt my piece, not embarrassed.

            Then another person shot their hand up, “The abstract shapes are really inviting.  I like how you mixed rough edges with smooth edges to lead your eye through the piece.  It would look really cool if you faded the color from dark purple to yellow on the shape in the middle because then it would look like your piece was going from dark to light.  It would make the flow of your piece even smoother.”

            Okay now I was just surprised.  I had never been critiqued before so publicly yet felt so empowered.  I was ready to take their suggestions and fix my piece to be even better.  I thought by the end of this exercise I would be ready to throw my piece away and give up art forever. 

            This first experience changed the way I looked at critiques, both giving and receiving.  I now don’t fear it and actually appreciate the way people’s new perspective encourages me to make changes.  My advice is to always be positive and always give a helpful suggestion.  Instead of saying, “This middle section made no sense.  You should reword it.” Say something like this, “Your intro and conclusion were outstanding.  The way you worded ‘this’ and ‘that’ really captured my attention.  If you changed a few words in this middle section, it would flow with the intro and conclusion much better.  Maybe try changing ‘this sentence’ to ‘this’.  Great job so far!”  Encouragement is the best way to elicit change and improvement, not putting another person down. Likewise, look at criticism as encouragement to improve, not encouragement to give up.  

(Picture quote of Malcolm X found on flickr.  No criticism may lead to no success so don't be nervous of critics.)