Story: Kaalee Vidhave

Dear Parvati,

I am emailing you today because I am really in need of some counseling. I feel as though I am perpetually single. I wish I could say it was because of my looks or my inability to flirt, but it is much more tragic. You see, I have had many "almost- relationships". I find a man, we start to talk, I like him, he likes me, and just as we decide to take that step and begin a relationship, the man turns up dead. My heart cannot take this loss much more. I feel as though I must be falling in love with the wrong type of men. Could I only be attracted to men with shady pasts or who are involved in criminal activity? I do not have any other way to wrap my mind around it. Well, I'm sure we can talk more about this in my first session. In the meantime, I filled out the New Client Form you requested. I hope we can schedule an appointment soon. Thank you for your generosity and giving me the opportunity to receive your kind guidance.

Yours truly,

Kaalee Vidhava


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New Client Form

1.What are you looking for in a lifelong partner?

I am looking for someone who will make me feel accepted and loved, unconditionally loved.

I am haunted by the memory of my favorite brother abandoning me at a young age before our parents passed away. He told our parents I was evil and then he left and I never saw him again. I had no idea where his hatred came from. It was like a switch went off one night in his mind and all of a sudden he was horrified of me. The love in his eyes was replaced by terror.

Shortly after, my parents died and I was left utterly alone. Add that to the fact that everyone I've ever loved has died, and you get the perfect disaster. I'm constantly looking for someone to be there for me but every time I possibly find that love and acceptance, I'm abandoned.

What am I looking for in a lifelong partner? Just someone who will have a life to live.

2.What makes you feel most loved?

I feel most loved when someone is spending quality time with me and is making the effort to be around me.

Although my parents never believed my brother when he told them I was demented it didn't stop the other people in our town from making rumors. Unfortunately, A LOT of people enjoy rumors and believe them. So ever since my crazy brother made that accusation, I've been the piranha of the town. No one ever really wants to get to know me. So when a man decides to ignore the rumors and spend time with me, it means the world to me. He could buy me the nicest jewelry in the world or kiss me more patiently than the kisses in the movies but I still wouldn't feel as loved as I do when I am just with someone and they want to be with me.

3.What do you wish you could change about yourself?

I would change the fact that I am supposedly attracted to the wrong kind of guy. As I mentioned earlier, I'm worried I just have a thing for "the bad boys". It's like I'm inexplicably attracted to mobsters and drug dealers. That has to be the only explanation for why I keep finding them dead.

I guess one other thing I wish I could change about myself is my constant nightmares. I know it doesn't seem like that has to do with my relationship journey but when every night you have dreams of you murdering the people you love, it really affects your mood when you're awake. We can go into my dreams more in the session because I don't really want to share them in an email, but lets just say, I somehow am always able to predict when the man I am talking to will turn up dead. Well, I'll just go out and say it, I trust you. You're a goddess after all. Anyway, I...well... I always kill them in my dreams the night before they turn up dead. I know! I know that sounds suspicious but I swear, it's just a bad coincidence: a coincidence that haunts me every time I open my eyes and something I desperately wish I could change. 

4.Have you ever been in love? If so, tell me your story.

Yes. Many, many times. I have too many stories to tell. For me, being in love is more dangerous than for others. I have recently decided to give up on love, but in one last attempt to find a life long partner, I have come to you. Before I give up on love completely, I have decide to turn to you for one final chance. Please help me. I am tired of being labelled the Black Widow and I am ready to find a lasting love. 

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Author's Note:I read the story of the Cannibal Sister and was drawn to the sister's story. The sister at night, starting from birth, would turn into a demon and kill the people of her town. No one ever suspected her because she was just a baby, but one night her brother saw he transition and he knew the truth. He tried to warn everyone but no one believed him so he escaped. While he was gone, his sister continued to kill until she was the only one left in the town. I thought about how interesting it would be if she had no clue she was the one doing the killing. She would have to endure losing everyone she knows and loves without having any clue as to why they were dying. That's how I had the idea to change her into a sort of "black widow" character. She unknowingly kills every man she's ever loved but still has no idea why she is single and why everyone is dying. 

To tie this black widow theme together, I named the girl Kaalee Vidhava which I believe means black widow in Hindi. I was not able to confirm that anywhere but Google Translate so forgive me if you know Hindi and the name is way far off. (If you know Hindi and can confirm that does is in fact mean "black widow," that would be greatly appreciated!)

Bibliography: A Flowering Tree And Other Oral Tales from India, Cannibal Sister, by A. K. Ramanujan Edited with a preface by Stuart Blackburn and Alan Dundes. Link to story online here.

Image Information:Image used with poem "Liar" by Rain Arashi, found on DeviantArt.


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